<3

17 years and counting :)

Dying House

I talk

about you like

you are a stranger,

but I know you well.

You are the

poison

that infects

this empty house -

our windows mottled

with disease.

The pallor of

your

fingers

that caress the

mildewed walls make

you

the Demon

of my living nightmare

0939

280909

We Are Not Joggers by Pearl Izumi

280

Today was an alright day. In the morning, ran my usual 8km round the house then did some 50m sprints (not many). And my 'sprinting' is pathetic anyway. I only have one gear. Er then I did 100 push ups. Then I bathed and had my second breakfast. Mum and I went to visit Tok Bedah at her apartment in The Regency. It's huge, but empty and desolate. I guess that's what happens when one gets old and everyone starts growing up and passing on. Developed the Raya photos. Came back, had lunch. Watched Discovery Travel and Living for one hour. Rarely do I sit that long in front of the TV. Then went online. Read some magazines. Had afternoon tea and a snack. Fell asleep. Woke up at 5.22 p.m. Changed and went to the gym for RPM. My first time trying RPM 44. It is bloody excellent. Track 6 is wonderful, if you're in the mood. Alone in the Dark by DJ Tiesto. I know the song well. I put it on repeat when I run on the treadmill because you can just lose yourself in it. Came back and had a quiet dinner with mum. Watched more TV (AFC). Came online. Ate supper. I just signed up for Powerman. Runner 1 = Me, cyclist = Oy-Leen, Runner 2 = My dad (God bless our group :P). I don't understand all the payment business. Am too lazy to do anything else now. Must ask Sun Nee. Will bug Dad tomorrow. He went to some Chung Ling gathering. Did I mention my gluteus maximus really hurts? Power lunges yesterday are really taking their toll. I want a nice long lovely slow stretch. But it's 11.06 p.m. so I'll just do it tomorrow. I think I am going offline now. Nitey nite.

KL Trip

I should be continuing my anatomy lectures by Marian Diamond but never mind, I shall write about my KL trip:

Left Penang on Saturday at 12 something p.m. Parents had to wait for me to finish RPM and Circuit :P. We reached my uncle's house in 3 hours 30 minutes. My mum was driving for the first time. She hit 140km/h for a lot of the way. Mad woman. And she tells me I drive fast.

Rested until it was time to break fast and then we ate a bit at home (Me with my huge bowl of veggies and fruits, everyone else with lots of biscuits and all manner of kuihs). Then we got ready and went to this Japanese retaurant in a hotel next to .. some mall. There are too many malls in KL, I lose track. I had octopus and salmon and tuna and scallop sashimi (i.e. I ate a lot). Raw seafood. Wow. Well, everyone was saying I needed to put on weight anyway so yeah whatever.. Just let go. You know how much the final bill was? RM900 something. The 'something' was closer to 1000 than it was to 900. My poor uncle.

THE NEXT MORNING WAS RAYA! Yay. I had a slow run and was bathed, dressed and had eaten by 8. My cousins hadn't even gotten up. The maid was damn surprised when I asked her to open the door at 6.45 a.m. She was unused to such odd morning behaviour (my cousins don't normally get up before 11 unless there is something urgent). Anyway. People started arriving at ten-ish. We salaam-ed, received duit raya, the normal formalities. Then we went visiting. Oh God there was like rendang and ketupat everywhere. My dad had eaten 5 big meals by 2 p.m. When I say big, I mean like, plates of rice and sate and all the Malay food that I don't know the names of. I brought 6 apples and 4 pears in my bag, a can of tuna and a huge tupperware of veggies. Lol. Just in case. I kept pulling food out of my bag. My relatives thought I had a mini-fridge in there.

More duit raya and houses blablabla. Tiring lah.

Some pics:

Next day we went to a few more houses. Then in the afternoon we went shopping! But only briefly. Er. I bought a lot in a short span of time, just like I always do. We went shopping on Tuesday too. A list of purchased items: Two sets of pajamas from Women's Secret, a pair of Grendha flip flops, a blue Adidas cap (I don't know for what since I never wear caps), 7 books from MPH, two necklaces, 5 pairs of earrings, two shirts from Kitschen, and I'm sure there was something else but I can't remember at the moment.

It was really nice spending time with the family after so long. They're such a fun bunch. But I really was itching to go home and get back to my normal, predictable, safe routine, e.g. 18km this morning and ABT at the gym at 11 a.m. That is the life :)

BTW Illy coffee is really, really, really good. Ok I'm going for a nice relaxing cycle now. CIAO!

Sarah = Idiot

If you don't start now, when the hell are you ever going to?

The Culinary Master is at Work Again

On account of it being Raya soon and also based on the fact that I love baking, I decided to make lots of lovely thingies for my lucky relatives.

Item # 1

Chocolate chip cupcakes with fudge icing and white chocolate sprinkles

Item # 2

Oat and almond cookies

Item # 3

Chocolate fudge macadamia brownie

Item # 4

Almond biscotti

My maid is really pissed because she has so much washing up to do :P If any one wants the recipes, let me know.

Today the air was cool, the morning fresh and crisp. I had a really slow pathetic 10km run and then went for a super short hike. My hamstrings still ache (the really nice kind of ache) from doing deadlifts yesterday and the day before. I love doing deadlifts. The slight ache in the back and the legs is so nice. And then a long stretch after is just sublime. I know I am a masochist.

I've packed my bags for KL, leaving tomorrow. Trying to get parents to leave after 12 noon so at least I can go to the gym for a bit. I'll be gone for quite a while, o Lordy all those lovely gym classes missed! :( And I don't know the distances in Tropicana Golf Resort which is where my uncle's house is and where I'll be staying. And considering the fact that I am way off normal pace I won't be able to tell how far I've really run! Belardy hell. Must get Dad to measure using the car. I hope I don't get lost or chased by dogs. That area is pretty quiet. Full of huge houses and perfectly manicured lawns. They don't even have gates or fences. The guards at the guardhouse have like, guns.

Sigh. Time to build back everything that I have lost, weight-wise and pace-wise. This is a long and arduous task ahead of me. My five remaining toenails have become four again. I told you I am a masochist. My eyes are tired but sleep won't come. I've been watching lectures on anatomy by Marian Diamond on YouTube. Starting to take notes and reading intellectual material again is a welcome relief. I have degenerated into stagnancy over the past few months.

I've discovered a new love for trance music. Odd, I know. I really don't seem like the kind. But there's something so comforting about the regularity of the beat, the way it's so consistent and the repetitive pounding. I can just lose myself in the music sometimes. And it calms me down when I am angry, which is a lot of the time. So much of all this anger is really not healthy.

Currently I am reading The White Castle by Orhan Pamuk. I've read almost a book a day for the past two months. I have 16 unread books left (i.e. time to go buy more). I hate library books. I like to own the books I read. I can't enjoy a dog-eared and curry-stained and spine-cracked book. No, no and no! Did I ever mention I have this weird habit of smelling every new book I buy? I love the smell of books. It's even better than the aroma of French Roast, and that's saying something.

4.21 p.m.

3 more hours to go, and then tomorrow is the last day. Am I relieved? Yes, to be honest - even though that may be blasphemous. I'm sorry that I fail you, God.

Trance

I let my thoughts trail slowly so the time passes by faster.

Extricate them one by one so that the legs feel no fatigue.

And I've started typing out each thought with my fingers like on a keyboard.

It takes quite a while.

Sometimes I even backspace.

People must think me odd, seeing me with my fingers twitching while I run.

It works.

And then I choose a nice mantra, and type it over and over again (no copy and paste).

3 more days of fasting, then that whole horrible Raya break where I'll be cooped up in KL visiting relatives houses and facing stifling comments. I'm staying in Tropicana which is a reaaaaally nice place to run but I don't know the distances! :( :( :(

Aih.. Why does the thing I love the most - running - cause me so much stress?

!?!?!

Kara Goucher freaking runs 150 miles a week WTF? I feel useless.

Walauweh

Wa beh tahan

Haha

This is funny

(Courtesy of Sam)

Look at what the stripes on the fish spell out :P

(SLAP)

NOT ENOUGH TODAY, SARAH!

Fingers

The dread that fills these fingers is an impenetrable dread. They feel heavy, weighed down: a metaphysical burden that manifests itself through flesh and skin and bone. There is an underlying aching; a certain yearning for an elusive dream. These fingers chatter noiselessly across the page but their silent speech ceases to hold any meaning; anything of significance.

The fingertips are calloused; rough like sandpaper. Fingernails, bitten down to the core. Pink and sickly yellow lies the puckered meat beneath. Like something ugly. Like something dying. And always that incessant throb, neverending - an extension of a deeper dissatisfaction within. Where is the connection, and how is it severed?

Fingers do their stuttering dance, but nothing is ever said.

0606

100909

A Thought

With all the effort I put into conserving my energy while running, one might wonder when I actually use it.

Announcement

In my dreams I'm a Kenyan.

Sigh... :)

Please win the US Open :) Thank you

Thank You

for the present, Pin :)

The Slowness of Me

I want to be an antelope

and I didn't enjoy this morning's run

so screw the world.

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!