Monday, June 28, 2010

Home

My pace is so messed up! I feel like I am moving through treacle. The air is thick and hot and heavy. I don't even need to warm up. But the sweat feels good. And Malaysian wind is puny compared to Melbournian wind. Went for a nice run at Gardens this morning. The arches are horrendous. Insulting, really. Gardens feels really really small. I have no idea how I used to do my 20 rounds. I got so bored after 4. So it's back to the smell of longkang, old chinese ladies talking about the price of fish, and mosquitoes. And boys on motorbikes who act like they've never seen a girl before.

And everyone is saying I have put on weight!!!!!!!!!

Which is a good thing I suppose.

O WELL

Saturday, June 26, 2010

little red
baby's shoe,
always wondered why it was there.
orange sky
like marmalade,
against black toast
(tombstone heads)
thinking about
nothing at all,
really
maybe the way
water squirts
under my shoe.
new shoe
(with neon pink laces)
i may look like
i am jogging but
i assure you sir
i am running sir

oh my god
get out of the way bitch
and you too,
owner-of-said-bitch
blocking my path
with your poo

i can smell
coffee and bread
from the house
across the street
i
wonder if
the little boy has woken up yet.

Homeward Bound

Had my last run in Melbourne today. Just let my legs lead me wherever they wanted to go. To all the people tucked in their warm blankets on a freezing Saturday winter morning with a good book and hot coffee... Fuck you. I admire your determination to stay in bed. If I had enough will power I could probably do it too. But when the feet want to pound pavement, ain't nothing you can do about that. Had the dark streets to myself. Passed the graveyard on Lygon. In pitch darkness I always love the feeling when I run past the graves. It is half fear and half exhilaration - the wind is always extra strong in this area and I keep visualising that it is the dead souls forming an invisible fence pushing me backwards. It is at once thrilling and frightening. Past the graveyard now and along Park Street. I never fail to notice that, dangling from one of those telephone lines, is a single baby's shoe. I wonder how it got there. It is bright red.

On my way home a rainbow appeared. And not one of those that end halfway in the sky, but a full rainbow. End to end. I won't say it gave me hope, because it didn't. I don't believe in that sort of crap. But I did appreciate it.

I am currently reading a book called "Things I've Been Silent About" by Azar Nafisi. It's one of those books that you can't help but hurry through eagerly because you want to know what happened and then you get close to the end and regret that you didn't take more time to enjoy it. The book is poignant and touching in some parts; melodramatic in others. I like it. It is my kind of book. She describes with personal detail the oppression of women in Iran during the Islamic Revolution, how her father was unjustly jailed, and the falling apart of her dysfunctional family. She is very beautiful.


In about 12 hours I will be on a plane. And that plane is going to take me back to the best place on Earth. In my opinion anyway.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Ask Yourself

Why am I doing this?



If you can't give yourself a good answer




then you probably shouldn't be doing it

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

(woman)

she is
the backbone
that bends so flexibly but
does not break, the
fragile thing that bears
more weight than he
could ever hope to carry,
she is
the contradiction in the
thinness of a seashell,
years have calcified her
apparent weakness into
stone
she is
what all other women secretly
want but are
ashamed to be,
because they are
preoccupied with the
art of self-painting

yet
all i see in his eyes is anger,
and all i see in hers is love

1358
230610

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Poetry

Where has it gone? No longer seamlessly sewn; only jagged stitches now. Goddamn needle keeps pricking me.

pathetically mismatched and incoherent

i want my words back

Resurrection

I resurface...

Hello world