Animal Instinct

6.33 a.m.
Cruising along the dark roads, the occasional glare of another's headlights my only guide. We are companions, we are. Strangers behind cool, closed cars leading inconceivably different lives. Hello mister, do you have children? Hello lady, do you know what it is like to be happy?

Windows down. Wind in my hair, goosebumps on my neck. Speed is beauty. What if I died this morning? Driving round the corner, right there on that very street at 6.37 in the darkness. Thinking about ( ). Dying mid-thought. End. Null. Gone.

This is the nearest I have come to feeling something remotely resembling freedom. Between the trees I see the moon. An irrepressible moment of inspired pulchritude. At times like these there is no denying that God exists.

Mouth drawn shut, there is no need for words. Singing along to the radio would wreck the silence. I am writing this in my head, and I will have memorised it to the very end. So here it is.

Building a wall around oneself is a form of art. It takes constructive thought and prolonged introspection. Look and observe and you will see how easy it is to shut the rest of the world out. Hide between a thin piece of cloth, or impeccably stacked bricks, it is all the same. Escape. Elegantly for that matter. You get to evade the looks and the questions and it is just you, and this darkness and this wind on your neck whistling in your eyes and round the bend.

Faster now. But the sky is lightening. Familiar road. Maybe dying this morning isn't such a good idea after all. I'd miss Chemistry.