Yesterday I ran from my house in Greenlane to Jesselton, did 5 rounds of the square and one small loop, and then to Youth Park where luckily my dad had just finished his daily hike and was chatting to some people - I wanted a lift back! Was too lazy to run back - I hate traffic. Overall quite a nice run, before I started I was feeling really lazy and sluggish and like "Gahhh I will just run tomorrow" but I'm glad I stuck with it. After the first few kms everything sort of settles down.
At night went shopping at Gurney for Father's Day stuff since I thought it was this Sunday - silly me.
Now just about to leave for Gurney. Outing!
Later!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Wednesday Morning
Sunrise this morning was so beautiful that I wanted to cry. I called the maid out to look at it because I needed to share it with somebody. I was smiling throughout the whole period I was running. Passers-by thought me insane, but I couldn't help it. How did He think of such a thing? How could such beauty be created? It was splashes of orange and blue; streaks of salmon pink. Everything was painted golden. My eyes were fixed on the sky and I was chasing something unknown. It appears to me I've been doing that for the past few months now. And everything could fall apart. The vessel is barely stitched together; the soul devoid. Daily motions are ritualistic movements. The forehead pressed to the ground, and the eyes cry. Everyday, again and again. The same hand dances, slow and laboriously, and yet furiously unstoppable - what is the underlying mental force? No one's going to understand this. No one can, if they are mere observers. It is only when one is living the nightmare that one can truly comprehend how real it is.
She questions and the answers are curt. Replies become unnecessary and somewhat redundant when the driving forces are anger and confusion.
W h a t
h a v e
w e
d o n e
t o
o u r s e l v e s
She questions and the answers are curt. Replies become unnecessary and somewhat redundant when the driving forces are anger and confusion.
W h a t
h a v e
w e
d o n e
t o
o u r s e l v e s
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Stagnancy
Am currently reading Howards End by E. M. Forster. He is strangely poetic, detached and yet extremely insightful in a way I cannot seem to describe adequately:
"...Margaret had often wondered at the disturbance that takes place in the world's waters when Love, who seems so tiny a pebble, slips in. Whom does Love concern beyond the beloved and the lover? Yet his impact deluges a hundred shores. No doubt that the disturbance is really the spirit of the generations, welcoming the new generations, and chafing against the ultimate Fate, who holds all the seas in the palm of her hand. But Love cannot understand this. He cannot comprehend another's infinity; he is conscious only of his own - flying sunbeam, falling rose, pebble that asks for one quiet plunge below the fretting interplay of space and time. He knows that he will survive at the end of things, and be gathered by Fate as a jewel from the slime, and be handed with admiration round the assembly of the gods. 'Men did produce this,' they will say, and, saying, they will give men immortality..."
Daily Life:
Just got back from this major shopping spree in KL. I bought two white jackets, one pair of pink shoes, 2 pairs of socks, one pair of jeans, a prom dress no. 2, a huge bag of coffee beans, an electric pepper grinder, two pairs of shorts, two books, two pairs of gloves, after coffee mints, and possibly some other things which I have already forgotten about. The socks, shorts and gloves are exactly the same design but merely a different colour. I am like that. Terrible, and deadly when shopping. This must stop. Why does everyone think I deserve all this when I don't?
"...Margaret had often wondered at the disturbance that takes place in the world's waters when Love, who seems so tiny a pebble, slips in. Whom does Love concern beyond the beloved and the lover? Yet his impact deluges a hundred shores. No doubt that the disturbance is really the spirit of the generations, welcoming the new generations, and chafing against the ultimate Fate, who holds all the seas in the palm of her hand. But Love cannot understand this. He cannot comprehend another's infinity; he is conscious only of his own - flying sunbeam, falling rose, pebble that asks for one quiet plunge below the fretting interplay of space and time. He knows that he will survive at the end of things, and be gathered by Fate as a jewel from the slime, and be handed with admiration round the assembly of the gods. 'Men did produce this,' they will say, and, saying, they will give men immortality..."
Daily Life:
Just got back from this major shopping spree in KL. I bought two white jackets, one pair of pink shoes, 2 pairs of socks, one pair of jeans, a prom dress no. 2, a huge bag of coffee beans, an electric pepper grinder, two pairs of shorts, two books, two pairs of gloves, after coffee mints, and possibly some other things which I have already forgotten about. The socks, shorts and gloves are exactly the same design but merely a different colour. I am like that. Terrible, and deadly when shopping. This must stop. Why does everyone think I deserve all this when I don't?
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Anger
I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM SO MUCH
Monday, June 1, 2009
I'm on a roll
Wow, three posts in one day - Understandable and forgivable considering the severe restricting conditions of shutting-myself-up-in-hidey-hole before and during exams. I find there is absolutely nothing to do at the moment; I am so used to coming home and burying my mushroom nose in a text book or staring for hours at the computer screen doing past exam papers. Now it's just listless boredom. I even bought Gray's Anatomy (No, not the silly TV series where doctors fall in love with other doctors and sleep with other doctors' partners). I mean the actual, original textbook "Gray's Anatomy" which actually has something to do with the inner mechanisms and functioning of the human body. I haven't started it yet as that shall be a task for another day (Indulgence? :P). Oh how I do love to sink my teeth into something intellectual.
Well, today was a lovely day, except the morning part because considering the fact I had slept at 2.00 a.m. so I woke up at 6.30 to pray but then fell back asleep again, and rewoke up at around 10, which is ridiculous, because that means half the day is basically gone. It's so much nicer to wake up at a proper, healthy 6 a.m. to 6.30 a.m. because you just get so much more done (i.e. breakfast, run, shower, coffee, morning tea) instead of just lying with your face stuffed into a pillow. Since I missed my run, I skipped 2500 times (heh) to my parents' consternation as they were having lunch in the next room and I was grunting and swearing half the time (Me skipping is rather intense, and my mother hates the fact that I exercise anyway since she thinks my bones are going to break and I am on the verge of collapse, which I am not, since I don't allow myself to be. This is an extremely long expletive).
So after skipping I had a huge lunch and then I got ready to go out with Lovely Lady Jasryn. Plans to visit Straits Settlements went down the drain and we had an excellent time in Gurney instead. I bought a dress which I shouldn't have, as I am sure I will find something nicer and end up buying that too. I deserve to rot in hell for my indulgences. I am lucky Jasryn was with me otherwise I would have bought 4 earring pairs instead of only 2. I am a sucker for nice shop keepers because I can never say no if they're nice. This cost me about 200 bucks today. Did I tell you I deserve to rot in hell for my indulgences?
Anyway apart from buying dresses and earrings we went to Winter Warmers which is Jasryn's fave tea parlour and I ordered an Americano and told them to put less water and an extra shot but it ended up tasting like instant coffee that was particularly insipid anyway so I ended up not finishing it. Had my customary organic apple (I always have an apple in my hand or mouth) which costs about 5 bucks per apple so every bite was literally, what, 50 cents? Hah. I really should start saving. But the word doesn't seem to exist in my vocabulary. Especially when it comes to sexy running shoes. I suppose all the grades and achievements etc. make up for my spending??? For photos of my day, please adjourn to Facebook as Jasryn has kindly posted them there.
I am not used to writing such long posts, perhaps I shall stop here before I kill everyone with my banality. Ciao. Hopefully I will have an orgasmic run tomorrow and then I can tell you all about it. But since there's haze I doubt I will be able to have the full connect-with-nature experience that I get off and on. That happens the most when there is no wind and I can see the sun rising as I run from my gate (because the first part of the road is directed towards East) so there is explosion of red and pink in the horizon. I'm rambling on again. Ciao.
Well, today was a lovely day, except the morning part because considering the fact I had slept at 2.00 a.m. so I woke up at 6.30 to pray but then fell back asleep again, and rewoke up at around 10, which is ridiculous, because that means half the day is basically gone. It's so much nicer to wake up at a proper, healthy 6 a.m. to 6.30 a.m. because you just get so much more done (i.e. breakfast, run, shower, coffee, morning tea) instead of just lying with your face stuffed into a pillow. Since I missed my run, I skipped 2500 times (heh) to my parents' consternation as they were having lunch in the next room and I was grunting and swearing half the time (Me skipping is rather intense, and my mother hates the fact that I exercise anyway since she thinks my bones are going to break and I am on the verge of collapse, which I am not, since I don't allow myself to be. This is an extremely long expletive).
So after skipping I had a huge lunch and then I got ready to go out with Lovely Lady Jasryn. Plans to visit Straits Settlements went down the drain and we had an excellent time in Gurney instead. I bought a dress which I shouldn't have, as I am sure I will find something nicer and end up buying that too. I deserve to rot in hell for my indulgences. I am lucky Jasryn was with me otherwise I would have bought 4 earring pairs instead of only 2. I am a sucker for nice shop keepers because I can never say no if they're nice. This cost me about 200 bucks today. Did I tell you I deserve to rot in hell for my indulgences?
Anyway apart from buying dresses and earrings we went to Winter Warmers which is Jasryn's fave tea parlour and I ordered an Americano and told them to put less water and an extra shot but it ended up tasting like instant coffee that was particularly insipid anyway so I ended up not finishing it. Had my customary organic apple (I always have an apple in my hand or mouth) which costs about 5 bucks per apple so every bite was literally, what, 50 cents? Hah. I really should start saving. But the word doesn't seem to exist in my vocabulary. Especially when it comes to sexy running shoes. I suppose all the grades and achievements etc. make up for my spending??? For photos of my day, please adjourn to Facebook as Jasryn has kindly posted them there.
I am not used to writing such long posts, perhaps I shall stop here before I kill everyone with my banality. Ciao. Hopefully I will have an orgasmic run tomorrow and then I can tell you all about it. But since there's haze I doubt I will be able to have the full connect-with-nature experience that I get off and on. That happens the most when there is no wind and I can see the sun rising as I run from my gate (because the first part of the road is directed towards East) so there is explosion of red and pink in the horizon. I'm rambling on again. Ciao.
Defeat
By the way, slept at 2.00 a.m. yesterday. Today is an extremely sad day for me. Nadal lost. Even though he really deserves to win. First person to win 5 years in a row, no? Shattered.
But he is worldly wise:
And this is why I respect him as a player and as a person. Never blaming others (fundamental attribution error? He constantly assumes they are dispositional...) Always trying and striving harder. He obviously didn't play well yesterday, how I wish he'd just held on for a little bit longer, so he could celebrate his birthday with a victory..
When asked during the post-match press conference "What are your preparations for Wimbledon?" He curtly replied "Right now the only preparation I'm going to have is in the swimming pool of my house. Give me 3 days to think about my preparations for Wimbledon!"
:)
After watching the presser I felt a whole lot more relieved; he seems alright. The stupid crowd yesterday was horrible though, they never really liked him: Cheering for Soderling the whole time. Bloody people always support the underdog. Ugh.
Anyway... I think Rafa deserves a rest and to spend his birthday with his family in Mallorca (which he hasn't done for 4 years on account of being at Roland Garros every year still in the tournament)... So perhaps in a way this is a blessing in disguise (Let's bloody hope it is!)
VAMOS RAFA!
But he is worldly wise:
"I know (I am going to lose) one day or the other. Since I know it will happen, I am not worried about it. That's life, the sport and the difficulty of tennis."
Hearing him say that makes me feel a lot better."You need a defeat to give value to your victories. I have to accept my defeat as I accepted my victories: with calm. This is not a tragedy, losing here in Paris. It had to happen one day, and this is an excellent season for me."
And this is why I respect him as a player and as a person. Never blaming others (fundamental attribution error? He constantly assumes they are dispositional...) Always trying and striving harder. He obviously didn't play well yesterday, how I wish he'd just held on for a little bit longer, so he could celebrate his birthday with a victory..
When asked during the post-match press conference "What are your preparations for Wimbledon?" He curtly replied "Right now the only preparation I'm going to have is in the swimming pool of my house. Give me 3 days to think about my preparations for Wimbledon!"
:)
After watching the presser I felt a whole lot more relieved; he seems alright. The stupid crowd yesterday was horrible though, they never really liked him: Cheering for Soderling the whole time. Bloody people always support the underdog. Ugh.
Anyway... I think Rafa deserves a rest and to spend his birthday with his family in Mallorca (which he hasn't done for 4 years on account of being at Roland Garros every year still in the tournament)... So perhaps in a way this is a blessing in disguise (Let's bloody hope it is!)
VAMOS RAFA!
I have been tagged
Since Jasryn tagged me, I shall please the wonderful lady :D
Picture of me looking down:
Picture of me with my mouth open:
Picture of me hugging someone:
Picture of me and my muscles:
(okay maybe only my muscles)
Picture of me looking lost:
Picture of me looking like an ape:
Picture of me looking disgusted:
Picture of me kissing someone:
Picture of me humping a turtle:
I tag everyone who is bored and has nothing to do :D
Picture of me looking down:
Picture of me with my mouth open:
Picture of me hugging someone:
Picture of me and my muscles:(okay maybe only my muscles)
Picture of me looking lost:
Picture of me looking like an ape:
Picture of me looking disgusted:
Picture of me kissing someone:
Picture of me humping a turtle:
I tag everyone who is bored and has nothing to do :D
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